Just ... don't, okay?

A furor of indignation and outrage has swept the internet because a remake of The Princess Bride was introduced as a possibly viable idea. The internet went mad, in a truly impressive display of solidarity among lots of disparate and oppositional factions, we all rejected the idea. And the existence of social media means not only can we all talk about it across the globe and foment large-scale public opinion that this is a Bad Idea, but that we have instant access to the opinions of the persons who made the film the first time around. Cary Elwes' response was delightfully eloquent and on-brand: "There's a shortage of perfect movies in the world. It would be a pity to damage this one."*

I have a long and passionate relationship with this film, as do many persons who are crying foul at this idea. I am far from unique in that I know the script and can recite it off the top of my head. But it's more than that for me. So much more. I have owned so many different versions of this film -- every time a new Special Edition came out, I added it to my collection, because each new edition usually had at least one new special feature documentary or commentary track or something. My absolute favourite special feature of the many I have consumed was the Writers Commentary. William Goldman talking about making the film is a gift without price.

One of the nice things about this fan outrage has been the opportunity to drop massive amounts of trivia on unsuspecting audiences, and inso doing, making them love the film *even* *more* than they already did. I love telling people about the connexion between The Princess Bride and This is Spinal Tap. I like telling them about why there are certain significant differences between the film and the book. I like telling them about all the little things I've picked up over the years, that just add to the depth and texture of my love affair with this story.

I have a few arguments against the idea of a remake that have a lot less to do with my own relationship with the film (because I can choose not to see a remake), because it's not that I have concerns I'd be disappointed (I know I would be), but rather that I think if William Goldman were still alive, he'd not condone such a project.

The Princess Bride (book) was published in 1973. It was another 14 years before the film was made. Had he wanted to turn it into a film immediately, it was entirely within reach for Goldman. He was an established and respected writer in Hollywood. He had the right connexions. He just didn't have the inclination to do so right away. This was because the book was William Goldman's favourite book he had written. It was his baby, and he wanted to make sure that when the film got made, it was going to be done according to HIS artistic vision. From the point it was published to Goldman allowing Rob Reiner to make the film, Goldman was approached time and again by people wanting to make the film, and he kept saying "no" because he was looking for "The One" and Rob Reiner was it. (That's where Spinal Tap comes into the story -- Goldman said after seeing This is Spinal Tap, he knew Reiner was the right man for the job.)

Goldman wrote the script himself, and this was not the usual vanity project of a novelist who is afraid of Hollywood getting its grubby hands all over it (though he didn't want that, either). Goldman was The Screenplay Doctor in Hollywood through his career. Other screenwriters would go to him for assitance with their own scripts, and by 1984 (the year Spinal Tap came out), he'd won two Academy Awards for screenwriting. One for Best Original Screenplay (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid) and one for Best Adapted Screenplay (All the President's Men). He knew what he was doing, what was possible, and what was negotiable. All the changes in plot were THE WRITER'S OWN IDEAS AND CHOICES rather than changes forced upon him by producers or the director.

Goldman had enormous artistic control in this endeavour, not because he was the writer, but because Rob Reiner respected Goldman as a writer, and he understood just how important the book and film were to Goldman. It was very important to Reiner that Goldman be pleased with the final project.

(He succeeded.)

Boiled down to its most basic essence, the reason this proposed remake upsets me more than, say, all the Disney movies we've seen come out recently is because I don't look at the film as merely entertainment. It's much more a piece of Art to me than Entertainment. And the lens of 'Art' vs 'Entertainment' makes it so much more important that the work stand as a unique finished piece that was as close to perfect as was possible for the artist to get to expressing his art. A remake feels like a capitalist money-grab, rather than a true artistic reinterpretation of a work of art.

*(@cary_elwes, 17 Sept 2019)